My Brain. Welcome.

I think everyone knows that mothers in general are perpetually multitasking themselves to death. At any given time we’re generally all thinking of about 3433894850348475 things.

Here’s a list of the top things my brain has been whirling on lately:

  1. Is that smile line my first solid wrinkle? Can Botox fix that? Is it time to start Botoxing myself?
  2. Do you think if I get Botox I’m going to be one of those freak people to get a weird paralysis on her face from a sketchy doc hitting a nerve?
  3. Am I the worst mother that’s ever lived?
  4. Am I the worst wife to ever live?
  5. Is Olivia going to grow up hating me because I’m not giving her enough attention?
  6. Will Georgia always prefer Mark because she has two bossy, needy   sisters who take up 100% of my time?
  7. Should I care about screen time? I can’t care about limiting screen time because then I will lose my mind.
  8. Should I be doing laser treatments? Are my pores bigger today than they were yesterday?
  9. Could Olivia have some sort of freak disease? She’s told me she has a stomach ache several times in the last 2 months. Must be Ebola.
  10. Am I going to finally lose the last 15 lbs of baby weight or should I just wait until the twins graduate from college?
  11. I resigned from my job last week. Is it dumb to quit a job you like?
  12. Will I go insane as a stay-at-home mother?
  13. Do chia seeds really make me healthier (super skinny)?
  14. If I don’t complete my will soon, should Mark and I avoid being on planes together? Will my mom lose her mind if she has to take custody of my kids when we are dead? (Yes.)
  15. Was I a serial killer in another life? Is that why I love murder podcasts, tv shows and all things true crime?
  16. Does my bedroom currently qualify as hoarding?

I’ve discovered after making this list is that I’m a vain, vain woman AND that I need to up my anxiety meds (joking…sort of). But really, this is how my brain works. Anyone else with me? I clearly know that most of these things are not actual concerns, but how can a person not be exhausted when this much is buzzing around in their head all of the time?

*Please note that I included this photo because it is a great depiction of how I feel 99% of the time.  Please also note that this was my screen saver for many months at my previous job (not the one I just resigned from). My boss did not get it.


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