I think everyone knows that mothers in general are perpetually multitasking themselves to death. At any given time we’re generally all thinking of about 3433894850348475 things.
Here’s a list of the top things my brain has been whirling on lately:
- Is that smile line my first solid wrinkle? Can Botox fix that? Is it time to start Botoxing myself?
- Do you think if I get Botox I’m going to be one of those freak people to get a weird paralysis on her face from a sketchy doc hitting a nerve?
- Am I the worst mother that’s ever lived?
- Am I the worst wife to ever live?
- Is Olivia going to grow up hating me because I’m not giving her enough attention?
- Will Georgia always prefer Mark because she has two bossy, needy sisters who take up 100% of my time?
- Should I care about screen time? I can’t care about limiting screen time because then I will lose my mind.
- Should I be doing laser treatments? Are my pores bigger today than they were yesterday?
- Could Olivia have some sort of freak disease? She’s told me she has a stomach ache several times in the last 2 months. Must be Ebola.
- Am I going to finally lose the last 15 lbs of baby weight or should I just wait until the twins graduate from college?
- I resigned from my job last week. Is it dumb to quit a job you like?
- Will I go insane as a stay-at-home mother?
- Do chia seeds really make me healthier (super skinny)?
- If I don’t complete my will soon, should Mark and I avoid being on planes together? Will my mom lose her mind if she has to take custody of my kids when we are dead? (Yes.)
- Was I a serial killer in another life? Is that why I love murder podcasts, tv shows and all things true crime?
- Does my bedroom currently qualify as hoarding?
I’ve discovered after making this list is that I’m a vain, vain woman AND that I need to up my anxiety meds (joking…sort of). But really, this is how my brain works. Anyone else with me? I clearly know that most of these things are not actual concerns, but how can a person not be exhausted when this much is buzzing around in their head all of the time?
*Please note that I included this photo because it is a great depiction of how I feel 99% of the time. Please also note that this was my screen saver for many months at my previous job (not the one I just resigned from). My boss did not get it.