Guilt. For not being a Catholic, I sure have a lot of it. After having kids, so much of your life changes. Beyond the obvious, something that I didn’t think about changing would be my friendships. I have several good (great) friends who don’t have children. These are lifelong friends who I really value. The problem that occurs (or at least the problem that occurred in my life) is that you end up not seeing your friends without kids nearly as much as your friends with kids. There’s a variety of reasons for this. One of the big ones for me is that I always assume that my friends who do not have kids would rather die than spend a Friday or Saturday night hanging at my house while I cut food at the speed of light, refill milks, scold and scream at my kids while shouting over them and straining to hear my friend talk. And by the way, I REALLY want to hear what they have to say because A. I miss them, and B. I am living vicariously through them and their adventures. Because of this, I don’t invite them over. Recently, I’ve wondered if this is a mistake. I want to include all of my friends in my life and my kids’ lives, so maybe we should all suffer together (while chugging wine).
I can frequently be found on Friday or Saturday nights either at a friend’s house with the kids or having a family and their kids over. Why, you ask? This is an opportunity for me to feel like an adult without having to pay someone to watch my kids or get my mom to stay up way later than she wants to, to watch my kids. If we have friends and their kids over, we get to drink, eat, and sort of watch our kids. It feels like a REAL weekend activity. It feels like we are LIVING adult lives!
I started writing this post because one of my friends had a birthday recently and I had to scroll back through my photos for an unacceptable amount of time to find a photo of my friend (who doesn’t have kids) and I together having fun. SAD. It made me SAD. SO, the point of this post is to say…friend, I really, really, really miss you. I value your friendship. I think you are awesome. I don’t love you any less. Let’s get together so I can shout at you and wipe boogers at the same time. K?
*Please note that these photos are proof that I used to be fun.